UPDATE: Sources have confirmed that the two persons arrested for drowning a sack of puppies in Needles, CA are
UPDATE: Many questions surround the shocking story that
BLITZER: Mr. Dreyfus-- thank you for joining me. While we should be careful to note thatUPDATE: The Needles, CA police have informed me that Lindsay Lohan and Janet Napolitano have not been arrested in connection with a puppy drowning incident, and in fact are not suspects. So who could have committed this crime? Stay tuned for updates!
Ms Lohanand Ms Napolitanohaven't yet been convicted of anything. But if it does turn out that they are guilty of this horrific crime, what might be the motive?
DREYFUS: Well Wolf, puppy drowning is a crime associated with Satan worshippers, who commit these acts in order to gain "canine strength" to use in future Satanist crimes.
BLITZER: But neither
Lohannor Napolitanoare known to be Satanists, are they?
DREYFUS: Not to my knowledge, Wolf. But keep in mind that devil-worshippers are frequently under the influence of substances such as "meth," or methamphetamine, or perhaps "coke," or cocaine. And
Lindsay Lohanhas been known to have problems with substance abuse in the past. So it seems clear that what has happened was that Lohangot Napolitanohooked on "meth," which then led to participation in an escalating series of dark rites, culminating in puppy-drowning.
BLITZER: Fascinating! But
Lohanand Napolitanoare from such different worlds! How do explain that they got together to allegedly commit these heinous acts?
DREYFUS: My research indicates that satanist meth-heads are often lesbians involved in May-September romances, Wolf.
BLITZER: Thank you Mr. Dreyfus. Could you please tell me what your qualifications are as a criminal profiler?
DREYFUS: For the past 35 years, I have served as a volunteer profiler for the Fort Wayne, Indiana Department of Police.
UPDATE: Sources say that two drifters,
UPDATE: The FBI responds:
We are not aware of any trend of puppy drowing in the United States.UPDATE: I have just learned that my initial information was incorrect. No puppies were drowned in a rain barrel behind the Burger Hut in Needles, CA. Even so, the debate continues about magnitude of, and reasons for, the alarming nation-wide increase in puppy-drowning!